This blog is about the blunders everyone makes when they write. And occasionally about the opposite – inspiring examples of excellence. I hope to add an actual example every few days, collected from the sea of print that surrounds us.
Not that I’m setting myself up as some kind of expert. It’s easy to get labelled as an idle, grumpy old charlatan who just sits back and spots everyone else’s mistakes. But the label is wrong: inside that unsmiling exterior is a heart of gold. Pure gold, because someone else’s mistake can be your improvement, your way to communicate better.
Here’s today’s example. It’s quite a subtle mistake, but the effect is to make the gears of communication grate instead of changing smoothly.
Unlike some parts of the UK there are plenty of NHS Dentists in
the London Borough of Hounslow.
OK at first sight, perhaps. But because it doesn’t fit the expected form
Unlike A, B is…
in which one thing is compared directly with another, it trips the reader ever so slightly.
Does this matter? Well, it’s a bit like your bank manager having a tiny coffee stain on her shirt. A detail, but makes you wonder about her competence. Even the smallest glitch in your flow of words reduces the value of your most important asset – trust.
So what should this say? It’s very easy to put it right. Just follow the formula.
Unlike some parts of the UK, the London Borough of Hounslow
has plenty of NHS dentists.
This is not just a style thing. It’s about making your writing completely transparent, a sheet of glass through which your reader can see your meaning without even realising the glass is there. And you don’t have to be Tolstoy: it’s largely a matter of following some boring old rules. And perhaps listening to some of your grumpier critics.